I'm pretty rubbish about asking for advice... I tend to ask someone who is totally unrelated to the situation, and often almost a stranger. My mom is the go-to person normally, but sometimes you can't ask mom's things (especially cute little Catholic kindergarden teacher moms). So, I tend to just meditate on my things myself and occasionally use someone uninvolved as a soundboard.
I make up my own mind pretty quickly when it comes to moral dilemmas, and then ask one or two friends after the fact, "It's okay that I did/said that, right?"
As friends don't want to shame other friends for things they've already said and done, they will typically respond with, "Yeah, you're totally validated in doing/saying that."
And then I skip off, back to my own insular moral universe.
It is fun to go to my dad every now and then, as his typical moral advice is, "Ah, fuck 'em."
My moral compass is pretty damn good. I have my friends family confirm that I was right. I have learned to not ask any blood family members for shit. What makes me acutely aware that I live in a completely different moral world from my blood family. 1. They recycle, but only the glass and cans because that's where the money is. 2. They truly believe that San Francisco may make me gay. 3. They think it's exotic that I work with "The Jews"
Normally I feel like my moral compass is more accurate than my friends'(especally the ones who are overly-influenced by that racist Ty Cobb.)
The fact that I know right and wrong myself but still end up on the wrong side of things fairly often is a good indicator that I am a worse person than, say, Jake or Phil. Those dudes, to paraphrase Raymond Chandler, have the moral compasses of a cat.
If push comes to shove* and I need some help figuring out what to do I rely on the advice my grandpa gave me**: "It doesn't matter if it is true or not as long as you have an answer."
*Ever since that question I have been really noticing clichés when I use them. Even more wondering where they come from. I am guessing 'push comes to shove' is something about a small altercation becoming a more serious fight but then I could be wrong. I was wrong before about "call a spade a spade" since it does in fact refer to garden tools and not Ty Cobbian racism like I had thought that it might.
**I am positive that had my Dad answered my question on fatherly advice this is what he would have entered since it was kind of my grandpa's motto.
People usually come to me for guidance (at work and outside of work). But like many others, if I am "on the fence" about anything important in my personal life, I usually seek out advice from family and friends closest to me.
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." YB
i feel like i dish out a lot of advice at times....
uhhh....i am not good at asking people for moral advice, but i'd ask my boy daniel...uh back home i'd probably get super wasted and complain about something to jon g....
But thats a rare occurance...mostly i figure this stuff out on my own..
i typically go inside myself for advice (no not like that!). my shrink tells me that the best way to deal with a problem is to channel all of your energy into drinking heavily and push those emotions down to the bottom. the bottle is really my shrink and it gives the best advice.
I have really awesome friends who really know me and always know the right thing to say. I'm a big goody goody too, so I'll usually do the right thing even if it's what I don't want to do. If I'm doing something morally wrong, I won't feel good about it and my friends will be like "That's not you, don't do that". My cousin is a psychologist too, so sometimes I go to him for advice as well, but it usually ends in frustration.
For real moral advice, I always turn to the non-fiction writing of queer, junkie, murderer and cat-lover william s. burroughs for sweet ah-pook's sake.
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12 comments:
I go to a panel composed of a handful of my friends. As they generally feel the same way that I do about moral issues, it usually works out well.
Otherwise, I try to find the answer in an old comic book.
I'm pretty rubbish about asking for advice... I tend to ask someone who is totally unrelated to the situation, and often almost a stranger. My mom is the go-to person normally, but sometimes you can't ask mom's things (especially cute little Catholic kindergarden teacher moms).
So, I tend to just meditate on my things myself and occasionally use someone uninvolved as a soundboard.
Either that or Jimminy Cricket or a bartender.
I make up my own mind pretty quickly when it comes to moral dilemmas, and then ask one or two friends after the fact, "It's okay that I did/said that, right?"
As friends don't want to shame other friends for things they've already said and done, they will typically respond with, "Yeah, you're totally validated in doing/saying that."
And then I skip off, back to my own insular moral universe.
It is fun to go to my dad every now and then, as his typical moral advice is, "Ah, fuck 'em."
My moral compass is pretty damn good. I have my friends family confirm that I was right. I have learned to not ask any blood family members for shit.
What makes me acutely aware that I live in a completely different moral world from my blood family.
1. They recycle, but only the glass and cans because that's where the money is.
2. They truly believe that San Francisco may make me gay.
3. They think it's exotic that I work with "The Jews"
Normally I feel like my moral compass is more accurate than my friends'(especally the ones who are overly-influenced by that racist Ty Cobb.)
The fact that I know right and wrong myself but still end up on the wrong side of things fairly often is a good indicator that I am a worse person than, say, Jake or Phil. Those dudes, to paraphrase Raymond Chandler, have the moral compasses of a cat.
If push comes to shove* and I need some help figuring out what to do I rely on the advice my grandpa gave me**: "It doesn't matter if it is true or not as long as you have an answer."
*Ever since that question I have been really noticing clichés when I use them. Even more wondering where they come from. I am guessing 'push comes to shove' is something about a small altercation becoming a more serious fight but then I could be wrong. I was wrong before about "call a spade a spade" since it does in fact refer to garden tools and not Ty Cobbian racism like I had thought that it might.
**I am positive that had my Dad answered my question on fatherly advice this is what he would have entered since it was kind of my grandpa's motto.
People usually come to me for guidance (at work and outside of work). But like many others, if I am "on the fence" about anything important in my personal life, I usually seek out advice from family and friends closest to me.
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." YB
noah.
i feel like i dish out a lot of advice at times....
uhhh....i am not good at asking people for moral advice, but i'd ask my boy daniel...uh back home i'd probably get super wasted and complain about something to jon g....
But thats a rare occurance...mostly i figure this stuff out on my own..
i typically go inside myself for advice (no not like that!). my shrink tells me that the best way to deal with a problem is to channel all of your energy into drinking heavily and push those emotions down to the bottom. the bottle is really my shrink and it gives the best advice.
I have really awesome friends who really know me and always know the right thing to say. I'm a big goody goody too, so I'll usually do the right thing even if it's what I don't want to do. If I'm doing something morally wrong, I won't feel good about it and my friends will be like "That's not you, don't do that". My cousin is a psychologist too, so sometimes I go to him for advice as well, but it usually ends in frustration.
"How does your problem make you feel?"
"..."
For real moral advice, I always turn to the non-fiction writing of queer, junkie, murderer and cat-lover william s. burroughs for sweet ah-pook's sake.
Mom
Sarah Nevada
Caroline Cho
Dru Donovan
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